Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Beeville

There are always flowers to pick in the spring

One of the hibiscus plants Granddaddy and I planted
Bluebonnet in their yard (This is TX's state flower for those of you who don't know)
Ethan in the front drive
The kids helping Granddaddy fill in some holes
More helping
Isaac playing in the wonderful Live Oak trees
All of the above pictures are from our week in Beeville this past March.



I mentioned last week that I wasn't sure I would post about my trip to Beeville for my Granddaddy's funeral. Well, I'm going to take a stab at it. This isn't so much about the funeral as it is the place where they live. Beeville is nothing to get excited about--really. It is a small, rather rural community that is about an hour west of Corpus Christi.

Last year my mom passed me the movie 'The Lake House' they had from Netflix. I watched it not really thinking I'd like it. Well, I watched it the next day too. Then I sent it back and that night, in the pouring rain, I drove to Best Buy and bought my own copy. I think that what I love about that movie (and what I love about my favorite series of books {ask me about those some other time}) is that it is a story of love that is not bound by time. I also don't mind that Keanu Reeves is in it:) Anyway, there's a part when the boss of Sandra Bullock's character tells her to get away from the hospital (she's a new doctor) on her day off and go to the place where she feel the most like herself. For some reason, I think Beeville is that place for me.

I mentioned early on in my blogging career that depending on my mood, my response to the question,"So, where are you from?" is either "Everywhere" or "Nowhere". Because my dad was in the military I moved every 3 (or so) years of my life. Continuing on into married life, this address here in Mississippi is the one we have had the longest. We'll have been here 3 years at the end of Feb. But throughout all of my moves, one place has remained the same: my grandparents house in Beeville. Down to the smell, it is the same. It is the place that when I have gone back to visit, things are in the same places. I know where the silverware is without having to look through lots of drawers. The toys that are in the closet out in the 'big room' today are the ones that belonged to my Uncle Miller and that I played with when I was little. It was very surreal when I took my 3 kids to Grandmother and Granddaddy's house before we moved here. It was my first time there as a mother. To have my children playing and discovering the same things that had had meaning to me at their age was just downright bazaar to me.

Before my dad got stationed in Germany (I was 6) we would each get to spend a week at Grandmother's house in the summer. After we got back to the states (when I was 9 and Jason was 11) we would still make the trek from North Dakota and then from Nebraska down to South TX to visit family. Grandmother's house remained unchanged. When I got into middle school, and old enough to fly alone, we got our week alone back. This is when I started going to Camp Bandina with the youth group from Grandmother and Granddaddy's church. I counted the days until it was time to go. I loved and treasured that time.

So I come back to that line from the Lake House. I think that Beeville as a whole and Grandmother's house in particular is so important to me because it is the one place that I can go to that connects my past to my present. When I was there at Thanksgiving, the feelings that washed over me were so immense. I was in the house that was (literally) full of people that I loved. Granddaddy's absence wasn't so tangible to me in the crowd as it was outside in the yard. He loved to be outside, puttering in the carport with all his stuff. He loved to be taking care of the yard and making things grow. I saw the 2 hibiscus plants that he and I planted during this past spring and I was just so sad because...because my Grandmother will move pretty soon to be closer to family and then my one place that has remained the same will be gone. Is that terribly selfish? She needs to be near to Mother or one of my Uncles and she needs to be closer to good medical facilities. I am anxious for her to get this new start. I can't imagine what it will mean to her to leave a place she has lived for 35 years. I know what it will mean to me though.

For some of you, you have deep roots. There are roots that are grounded in people; family and such. I am so blessed to have those kinds of roots. I have a wonderful family that I am grounded in. But some of you also have deep roots that are grounded to a place. I kind of feel like I have one of those, and it's in Beeville, and it will soon be dug up.

So, I hope this hasn't been too depressing to all of you. It is cathartic to be able to write my thoughts down and if you have a word or 2 of wisdom or encouragement, I'd be happy to hear them.

Thanks everyone.
God bless.
D

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I understand every word. My grandpa and grandma's house is "home" to me because it was the one permanent place we had while the Air Force moved us around. For a long time I felt more connected to that land than I did to most people (family excluded). The idea of Grandpa's farm not being there is heartbreaking to me. I know it is going to happen, but there is no way to prepare for it.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Maybe you could find a way to plant one of those Hibiscus plants in your yard. I know it would take a lot to get it to your home from Beeville, but it would be a beautiful memory to look at each day.

Dixie said...

Vern
I was thinking the same thing about the hibiscus plant. It would take some doing to get it to me...I'll have to noodle that one around. Thanks for the empathy. We military kids have lots in common:)
Merry Christmas

Shanda Boatright said...

It was not depressing at all, I understood you completly. Being a military brat Poplar Bluff, Mo was my one constant for the same reason; my grandparents were/are there. The military has a way of making certain places REALLY special. The sell of the house will be tough (I cried when mine sold theirs three years ago). I still drive by their old one every time I visit.

I really like the idea of getting the hibiscus plant. Let me know if I need to make a road trip. I'd be willing. :o)

Dixie said...

Shanda
You are the best. My Grandmother is coming out here for 3 weeks at Christmas. I'll talk to her about it and see what she thinks. Thanks for the offer. I'll talk to you soon
D

Anonymous said...

My dad was a US Forest Ranger, and we moved only slightly less than you military folks. :) And being from an older generation, guess what! My grandparents homes were exactly the same for me! And I have kept several things that belonged to them - always in the same place in their homes - and those things are treasures to me and bring back wonderful memories. My mother kept a plant from my grandmother's home. The hibiscus plant is a wonderful idea!

I cried reading your story, Dixie, but it's only because I relate to what this all means to you, not that it's depressing. No matter what you decide about the hibiscus
plant, be sure you get some 'memories' from your grandparents homes. Love you, Joyce

Anonymous said...

I have no great words of wisdom, but I do understand the idea of roots being in people, not a place. I'm praying for you!

Love,
Heatharlyne

Carol Beasley said...

You know I had roots in a house in Rangerville, and now it looks all run down and depressing. When my Grandma and Grandpa's house got sold, it was sold to an uncle. That wasn't so hard. But then he sold it out of the family, and it's lost to me, except when we drive by. It still seems like Grandma and Grandpa's house...not like it belongs to someone else. I remember going in that house for the first time after Grandpa had died. It was a horrible, sad, empty how-can-this-be? kind of feeling. His presence was so strong, and now it was missing.

I hurt with you.

Love,
Mom

Anonymous said...

I like Heatherlynne have no great words of wisdom, but getting the plant is a great idea. When I lost mom, the only tangible thing i had were her "things." They still carried her smell and certainly memories. I treasure each "thing" I have been able to place in our home knowing that A little part of my mom was still here. Cherish that plant as if it were a piece of your granddad and certainly the memories attached.

As you know, I have always lived in Jx so the moving around thing is unfamiliar. But hopefully, you and yours can develop a since of "home" here. And in years to come, if you have moved away, you can return and have the fond memories as you do in Beeville.

Hope the visit with grandmother goes well.

love,
Stacey

Anonymous said...

Hey Dixie...I'm so sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you had a grandfather for so many years and that your children not only met him, but will have memories of him to cherish forever. I lost my Popi in 1997 and I miss him every day. I am so sad that Davis never got to meet such an amazing man. But I look forward to sharing his stories with Davis when he's older. When we sold Popi's house I cried for a week...I wanted to bottle that smell! As Air Force brats, I think the distance we were forced to keep from family made us appreciate them so much more.

I hope you can get that plant because it would be wonderful to look at. But more important will be the stories that you share with your children about that place and about your grandfather. There will always be a piece of that "constant place" in your heart...and as much as you will miss the physical place, it's the memories you take with you that matter the most. So I guess I don't have any answers for you, huh? Just know that small things will happen in life, a smell, a memory, etc. that will bring you back to that place and hopefully bring a smile to your face. The smell of freshly mowed grass still takes my back to my Popi's house...

You and your family are in my prayers...

Love, Susan