Gifts

Sometimes I see my children as extensions of myself. That can be very gratifying and also very frustrating. When they do something good or say a kind word (with actions and words I have taught them) I swell with pride and feel like they have passed my love and kindness on to another. When they do something mean or rude (with actions and words they have probably heard from me) I cringe inside, feeling as if I have been the one to lash out.

But then there are times when they do something so independent of me; they act or speak in a way that is their own, in a way that I wouldn't have done, and it it makes me marvel at the real person they are. They ARE. Separate from me but forever a part of me. It makes me stand in awe of their Creator, knowing that He is my own. It makes me wonder what He knows about my children, that I can never know. It makes me feel, just a tiny glimpse, of what He feels when His children pass on His love. I wonder if we ever surprise Him by doing something so independent or unexpected that He sits back and marvels at us all over again.

I remember when Isaac was a baby, a tiny baby, holding his tiny hand while he slept in his crib. I remember thinking that I love him SO much. Then the thought came that God loves him SO MUCH MORE than I do. Right on the heels of that Deep Thought came this one: He loves ME more that I love Isaac. That one sorta surprised me. I am terribly thankful that I have known that I am loved, every single day of my life. It is my desire to pass that gift, at least, on to my 3.